Counseling and Confidentiality

Picture this. You've just ridden your bike for about 12 miles. It's 94 degrees outside. You're sweaty and thirsty. You're completely out of water. You pop over a hill and see a small roadside, old-time mercantile. It appears closed, but right in front of it is a coke machine. You walk up to the drink dispenser. Just before you toss in your money, however, you reach down and unplug the machine. You then put in your money and nothing happens. No sprite comes out. No refreshment is dispensed. You're still thirsty. And you wonder why.

Brothers and sisters, this is what we do when we promise confidentiality in counseling. We take Jesus's prescription for the church in handling sinning brothers and sisters, found in Matthew 18, to refresh us, and we unplug it. That process set in place by our Lord no longer works. We promise people up front that we will not obey our Lord, moving to the next phases of church discipline (taking two or three others, telling it to the church, etc.) if necessary. I learned this from an excellent book by Jay Adams, entitled Handbook of Church Discipline: A Right and Privilege of Every Church Member.

Yesterday the blogosphere was full of discussion about a case in Dallas, where a church followed Matthew 18 and told the church about a man's adulterous behavior. Now he is trying to sue. And the case will likely lead to much discussion, perhaps judicial precedent, about what the church can and can't do. He claims that the pastor promised confidentiality.

I once sat in the office with a pastor who said, regarding church discipline, that "if we did that today, we'd get sued." I about vomited. Here's what I say. The early church did stuff that got them thrown in jail and made them lose their possessions. I say, "Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also, the body they may kill, God's truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever."

This why any elder Grace Church ordains will have to pass the guts (edited version ) test from Titus 1:9. He's got to have the guts to hold the plug-in into the outlet while he's getting shot at.